MIRACLE

Have you seen the face of a newborn baby? Have you ever hold them with your bare hands? Have you smell the scent while touching your nose to their warm, fragile skin?

It's like seeing a vivid, glowing ray so humid it makes you dwells in it. And even when you are in the bottom of the world, the darkness of no hope, the suffocation of no air, it comes like a door to heaven, a light so bright, a breath of fresh air. You are not only seeing it, but experiencing a miracle.

God made us from the conception of two different cells that fits each other in a way, then combined to grow into a human being. A process no man can replicate, even being studied for hundreds of years, happened from the days of Adam and Eve, not a single thing changed until today, but still it impresses us in awe. The fact is: we are the best creation ever made, the most perfect thing we will ever seen in our life. And to see things in their best form is when they are brand new.

I've watched hundreds of mothers gave birth to babies, the hurdles, the tears and smiles, we all will be there, InsyaAllah. With every birth of a new life, obviously no words can describe the feeling of the birth giver, but witnessing it for me, over and over again, the feelings never change. The warmth still covers your heart, filling it with live. I'm so glad I can appreciate this panorama again and again, being astonished every time and reminding me back to The Most Intelligent, The Creator, Allah s.w.t.

Once, I've seen a mother in labour of her child, she seems so exhausted, she might have been doing this for a few hours already. The doctors keep on motivating her to continue and not giving up. After a half an hour at last the baby was born. He is silent, no movement, and there's no effort to make the baby start breathing. The family was called, and the baby was given to them. They already know if the baby had already died inside the mother's womb. The mother showed no emotion, probably relieved after going through hours of exhaustion trying to give birth to the pulseless child, but in her eyes she seems so lost, staring empty. At the corner of the room, her husband was holding and kissing the baby with tear coming down his cheek.

My heart was throbbing, trying so hard not to shed tears while discovering a feeling of parents losing their child. They never seen him, they never touch him, they never got to know him, but they love him like they never love anything in the world. They weep for him like they know him their whole life. The emotion is inevitable.

Recently, I encountered some similar cases of mothers admitted to the hospital due to vaginal bleeding, together with high fever and looked very pale. After knowing the patient is pregnant, Ultrasonography was performed to confirm the diagnosis. No surprise, they provoked themselves to terminate their pregnancy, whether using pills (consumed or applied somewhere around the cervix area), an algae-wood called 'batang jarak' or bay the help of 'dukun' or 'mantri'.

Usually the cases circles around teenagers who 'terlanjur' and were not expecting baby from their illegal sexual activities, but shockingly I have met more mothers doing abortion because of too many children. In Indonesia there is a campaign of limiting maximum two children for every family, yes, but by using contraceptives, not abortion. Most of them have been pregnant for more than five times, sometimes even reaching 10. So I understand the burden of raising children with only the farther working as 'tukang beca', adding one more would not be an option.

There is one patient, a 32 year-old mother who already had four children, had two miscarriage (claimed to be spontaneous without any provocation), and now again having the third abortion. On USG the doctor found four 'batang jarak' in her womb. She lose words.

We asked why she did it, she said nothing. We asked why didn't she use contraceptives, she said she stopped hormones injection because her husband's complaint of lack satisfaction during intercourse. Then we ask if she wants to have a permanent contraceptive; tubactomy, she said her husband still wants another children. Then WHY SHE DID IT?? At last, we turned up at the first question.

Pregnancy preventions; contraceptive are all around from the cheapest to the most expensive, right next door marts (condoms) to the operation table (tubectomy or vasectomy), you choose. People always have a choice, desperation only appears when you chose not to choose another option, then you were left with the only option.

Killing human being is cruel and inhuman, but killing a miracle is denying God. If you are denying God, what else do you have?

~Thanks UMI, my inspiration~

-IMAN NAILAH 2010-

Fatamorgana

"Sesungguhnya perumpamaan kehidupan duniawi itu hanya seperti air (hujan) yang Kami turunkan dari langit, lalu tumbuhlah tanaman-tanaman bumi yang dimakan manusia dan haiwan ternak. Hingga apabila bumi itu telah sempurna keindahannya dan berhias, pemiliknya menyangka mereka pasti menguasainya (memetik hasilnya), datanglah kepadanya azab Kami pada waktu malam dan siang, lalu kami jadikan (tanaman)nya seperti tanaman yang sudah disabit, seakan-akan belum pernah tumbuh kelmarin. Demikianlah kami menjelaskan tanda-tanda (kekuasaan kami) kepada orang yang berfikir."
-Yusuf:24

~Ingatlah hidup itu sementara, yang kekal adalah akhirat.~

-IMAN NAILAH 2010-

Belenggu

Terbelenggu
Dimamah waktu
Menjamah darahku
Tinggal setengah

Hati sekarat
Merangkak ke garis tamat
Yang tak terlihat.

-IMAN NAILAH 2010-

Memanfaatkan Kesulitan

Kita selalu mendambakan yang indah dan selesa. Senang dan gembira. Tapi hidup selalu menafikan harapan, kerana selalunya kita punya pengharapan yang tak seiring kenyataan. Kita tahu hidup itu ibarat roda, hidup penuh liku dan cabaran, tapi kenapa bila datang susah dan payah kita mengeluh dan merudum jatuh?

Orang yang berjaya bukanlah yang paling banyak cabaran dan kesusahannya, kalau begitu orang miskin, tukang buruh dan pesakit kroniklah yang harus berada di puncak. Tapi yang memanfaatkan kesusahan dan cabaran itulah orang yang benar-benar berjaya.

Di saat kesibukan yang mencengkam, melelahkan jasad yang sungkam, aku menemui manfaat kesusahan. Baru, baru inilah aku menyedari rahsia sang pejuang. Mereka bukan pelajar ilmu kebal, bukan juga peminum tongkat ali atau kacip fatimah, belum tentu juara maraton 20km, tapi merekalah yang mencari bahagia di celah kusut dan beban.

Rasulullah saw, idola semua idola (bukan idola cilik ye), merupakan orang yang paling hebat memanfaatkan segala ujian dan kesulitan hidup baginda. Baginda memang diizinkan Allah seorang yang ma'sum, tapi baginda mengaplikasikan konsep 'maintain and improve' berbanding 'inherit the goods'seperti kebanyakan manusia. Kenapa Rasulullah sangat sabar? Bukan kerana baginda diciptakan mempunyai sifat sabar yang luar biasa, tapi kerana baginda melatih dirinya dengan setiap cubaah yang diberikan. Ketika rumah baginda dilempari najis, baginda memilih untuk mendapatkan pahala kesabaran, sekaligus mengagumkan para musyrikin serta menarik hati mereka ke arah Islam.

Dan barulah aku rasakan kebenaran dari sabda Nabi, sesungguhnya solat itu adalah istirehat, bila kesibukan melanda, waktu yang sedikit itu aku dirikan solat dengan penuh ketenangan. 5 minit yang singkat itu terasa sungguh menyegarkan, otot-otot yang kelelahan terasa kembali cergas, minda yang kusut dan hati yang sungkam kini semangat. Rupanya inilah kebahagiaan sejati. Seandainya aku tak merasai keletihan mental dan batin ini, adakah aku akan merasakan ketenangan sejati itu?

Betapa Maha Pengasihnya Tuhanku, Dia sentiasa pastikan ada insan yang membimbing dan menyokongku bila saja aku merasa perlu. Kadang hati tidak kuat menahan sakitnya cemuhan dunia, kembalilah kepada yang tersayang kerana cinta mereka bukan tiruan. Aliran kasih Allah, seperti embun yang menitis di pipimu. Sangat berharga dan bermakna.

Kesulitan hidup itu lumrah. Jadi tempuhilah rimba dengan bakul di tangan, buat mengutip buah di perjalanan, jangan cuma digigit serangga dan ditimpa hujan, sampai sesat tanpa haluan.

Rimba tebal bakal disinggah, Ramadhan yang penuh berkah. Sediakan dirimu dengan kekuatan dan stamina, dan mari manfaatkan!

*Sedang melalui masa-masa penuh cabaran, tulisan ini sebagai peringatan buat diri yang sering lupa dan kelelahan. Terima kasih umi, abah, babal dan sume yang memberi kekuatan. And for u who reminds me that patience is a part of me. :)

-IMAN NAILAH 2010-